The time that I was miraculously granted by the destruction of the goddess (even thank you for it) was stopping my thesis. For me, this thesis, was at once a success for today, a springboard to the future, a job for me to feed my family, advanced to the planet (soil remediation solution.) I felt useful!
I had a week to feel really bad, the bottom of the abyss, in crying.
But life does not let us down after we have shake well. A solution was quickly found that our family does not suffer too (although I had to make an effort every day, ends pretty purchases, we learned the value of food.)
In short I decided to remove my children from the nursery and have them with me (logic, so take advantage of them!) And I had to show a lot of creativity to our everyday is wonderful, informative , surprising and sometimes, resting (sometimes.)
Meanwhile, I am fascinated by alternative pedagogies (2 children at home do not forget) and I discovered the writings of Montessori and later Steiner that established all of the sad facts: arrival in adulthood, the man was devoid of creativity, autonomy. I did not want that for my children. I studied a minimum of psychology, communication in order to understand what was happening to me as a mom. New emotions, strong, unknown to me! Doubts, euphoria.
All this new time was used in the study. Yep … I had literally plunged nose in the books as soon as the children slept!
I then learned all that the school failed to teach us. Relationships with others. The functioning of the brain in learning. The name of the emotions that we live. I was tying friendship, for the first time with what was happening inside.
An extraordinary book (which is no longer published in French) fell into my hands: educate and educate oneself. I also read books Filliozat. Gradually I realized that my ways were acting reflexes due to my education to me. There is a way to act consciously and be free of reflexes such as cries meditation.