Between fears and desire

Here are some good months that I surrender to paint. It’s been 7 years in fact. 7 years of pleasure that I enjoy as a hobby, when what should be done in the day was done and that I can let go on the canvas.

Work in progress…

Sometimes arise moments of ultimate clarity. The dream of being an artist, a job that would make me want to get up every day. And if I was doing more than a hobby? And if I sold?

That’s when my ego falls on me … « but who would buy sell ?! So many artists, fine artists … what could you compare it to sell their work in a professional quality? They experience them! They found their voice them. You is not one, you, as an artist. You’re not fine arts. And if you had talent you would have been identified long ago  » . This wicked big voice makes me scared … so, what would become of me if I finally opened this shop and that nothing is selling? To think about it … it would be only my ego that would eventually hit. And he understood! He defends himself against my black projects to make him definitely lose face with family and friends. Then he let go. It twists my guts fear. He invokes the need to earn a living, I could not feed my children with pasta, I took a financial risk and that I shall never see the money invested!

Facing him, so small that crystalline voice that said, ‘anyway, you will not have a choice … paint makes you happy You need it to calm down, to give you strength to chain. days. Look inside you … you can not go back! « 

I know that the little voice is right. I still feel quite myself, accomplished. I know we will have to take the plunge, me to go to the obvious: I love take me for an artist!

So here I am committed here in the sight of all, to open an online store up to 1 November.

« Noooooooonnnnnnnnn » shouts my ego at that time.

Then nothing!

I hope he’s gone for good 🙂